As I enter February, 2019

Welcome to my website blog. I feel as if this will be a healthy alternative to Social Media posting, as there is a very fine line between the personal and the professional when it comes to the arts. I look forward to using this space to update my artistic intention, as it is very rooted in my personal experiences. (It will also be an invaluable resource for myself to reflect on this specific area of my creative process)

This year thus far- I have begun spelunking into these subjects-

IDENTITY; It would seem I’m always spelunking into this in one way or another, but this specific case of identity investigation would be specifically around how it DOES or DOES NOT RELATE TO OTHERS. I have noticed about myself (and in my research have found) that maybe because of my Borderline Personality Disorder, I have based a lot of my identity around those I am in close proximity to. My personal questions to myself are simple; Who am I if I am not in direct reaction to/chameleoning with someone else? What would I wear? How would I speak? What would I do in my free time? This is also very related to the social media experiment- I see how validation through curated representation can be a drug.

MMIW (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women); This isn’t a new subject or awareness, but I am consistently struggling through the psychological/emotional reactions to the fact that Indigenous women go murdered and missing more than any other race in North America. I recently watched a section of the Disney animation of “Pocahontas” with my daughter. I didn’t want her to watch it because I didn’t want her new mind to be stamped with the objectified images of INDIGENOUS, WOMAN, PRETTY, DESIRABLE, etc… but I couldn’t look away as I realized with horror- I wondered, if someone did the research, if the percentage of MMIW rose after the making of a movie that objectified and sexualized indigenous women? If you have done any research here, lmk.

REACTION vs. AGENCY around the TRADITIONAL FAMILY UNIT; As I have the opportunity to share my love and connect my small family unit with another small family unit, I am struggling with all the judgments I carry in reaction to the idea of a “perfect nuclear family.” I see how patriarchal and toxic the idea can be when women are subjugated into a preconceived gender role, but I also see how Western concepts have disrupted what was once harmonious Indigenous ways of connection, dedication, and respect. While trying to remain as self-conscious as I can, I am struggling to understand how to approach this opportunity while maintaining the consciousness of the work that must be done on both ends. I often straddle the line, internally and culturally, between liberal views and conservative viewpoints (not in reference to American political stances), I think mostly because of my spiritual upbringing and the respect I carry for the preservation of Indigenous cultures, and the conservative stance one must hold to protect that sacred knowledge.

I look forward to seeing what changes around these subjects as time passes. I hope that some of the questions that I pose for myself initiate reflection and rumination to those who read this. For Serio.